12 MARRIAGE TIPS

by Patty Howell & Ralph Jones
Authors of World Class Marriage

1) "Success in marriage is based not upon chemistry or chance; it is based upon learnable relationship skills."

2) "All successful marriages are created by two flawed human beings."

3) "The exciting Honeymoon phase lasts only about 6-24 months. When it's over, your most meaningful opportunity to build an enduring relationship begins."

4) "Well-defined goals are a key ingredient in the success of a marriage. They set a target and put wind in your sails, enabling the relationship to reach exciting new shores."

5) "Blame is relationship cancer. If allowed in the relationship, it will destroy everything special you cherish together."

6) "Marriage must support personal growth, as who you are when you first get together is never enough to respond effectively to all the challenges you will meet over the years ahead."

7) "Empathy, Acceptance, and Genuineness are the three conditions that most strongly foster growth in your partner and growth in your relationship together."

8) "When your partner has a problem, the most common ways people attempt to give help are through Judgment, Advice, Questions, and Reassurance. None of these works as well as Empathic Listening."

9) "Empathic Listening is the most powerful thing you can do to encourage your partner to talk. If you want your partner to share intimately with you, become good at this important skill."

10) "Defensiveness--the act of trying to explain or otherwise protect ourselves when we feel attacked or criticized--can lead to endless spirals of negativity and is an unrecognized threat to intimacy."

11) "An important way to work on your marriage is to work on your Self--to engage in personal growth, so you can communicate authentically, listen deeply and connect with your own and your partner's humanity."

12) "Envision a 'Heart-to-Heart Connection'--an invisible silver thread from your heart to your partner's. Keep this as a symbol that nothing is more important than your love."

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Copyright © 2004 by Howell-Jones Trainings

About the Authors: Patty Howell & Ralph Jones are Relationship Experts and authors of World Class Marriage, published in many countries, as well as the research-based World Class Marriage™ Workshop for Couples. They can be reached at www.worldclassmarriage.com

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